IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
27 Jun 24, 19:46
Want to practice?
Try this question

Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task well, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of online education. However, it contains grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts, which affects readability and overall cohesion.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors31
Grammatical range and accuracy11
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response5
Question
Online education has become more prevalent in recent years, offering learners from around the world the opportunity to pursue their studies remotely.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online education.
#Online Education
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:350
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Since the past few years, online
school
has
become more common as it
offer
students
to continue their studies from their homes. This essay will delve into how remote education may assist
students
who have difficulties in economy as well as how it can
reduce
the distance among family members. Not only that,
this essay will also discuss
how online education may lead to
lack
of social networking and
less
chances to go on trips with friends.
The first advantage is how remote
school
may lift financial burden from
students
as they
wouldn't
have to pay for living cost. Which is usually more expensive overseas than in
students
' home countries, this means that they can allocate the money for another purpose. Another point is
students
would be closer to their family because they are still staying at home. This
reduces
the chance where
students
experience homesickness. For example, someone
who's
originally from Indonesia
tend
to get homesick as the culture and food vastly differ to
other
countries.
However, a disadvantage for remote
school
would be that
students
often lack social networking. Without meeting someone in person, it
reduces
the chance of meeting
people
by
accident
which usually leads to social networking.
People
get to know each
other
by meeting one another physically, and without offline
school
, it would be difficult to network with
other
people
. Moreover,
students
who
does
n't
attend
school
physically
wouldn't
be able to attend
school
trips
which may
reduce
knowledge.
School
trips are commonly done as a way for
students
to learn in a different environment and without it, they might lose focus in
school
because they are often stuck in their room staring at their screen, which may also adversely affect their scores.
In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks from online learning. It can provide a relief from financial difficulties
and
it also
allow
students
to be closer in distance with their family. However, it can affect
students
' network with
other
students
or
people
and negatively affect their performance in
school
as they are stuck in their room all the time.