IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
22 Jun 24, 10:45
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task well, presenting both views and providing a personal opinion. However, it contains several grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement, which affects coherence and readability.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 47 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 17 | |
| Lexical resource | 23 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
#Food
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:345
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
junk
food
in excess
amoumt
can harm people
's health. Few people
contemplate that the solution to this problem is to literate people
about it, on the other hand
some individuals
does
not agree with it. In this essay
we will try elaborate
and compare both view points and personal opinion as well with examples.Prominents of
education
argues
that informing poeple
about disadvantages
of junk
food
and benifits
of a healthy
diet can lead to a healthy
choice
and
eventually outcome will be overall a healthy
life style
. Education
initiatives can raise awareness about the long term
health issues associated with junk
food
such as obesity , heart decease , and diabetes. By incorparating
nutritions education
in school curriculm
and public campaigns, individuals
can get a better
understanding of how to make
healthier
choices
.However, critics of this approach argue that
education
alone is insufficient to combact
the junk
food
epidemic. They point out that the knowledge alone does not translate to behavior
change. Many people
are aware of repercrussion
associated with junk
food
, with that said
people
continue to consume junk
food
due to factors such as convenience, affordability and taste preference. Junk
food
is often more accessable
and cheaper then
healthier
alternatives
which make
that a practical choise
specially
for the people
with limited financial resources.In my opinion, while
education
is a crucial component of addressing
the junk
food
problem, it should be part of a multifaceted approach. Education
can lay the foundation for healthier
eating habits, but it needs to be supported by structural changes that make
healthy
food
choices
more accessible and appealing. Governments should implement policies that reduce the availability and attractiveness of junk
food
while promoting healthier
alternatives. For instance, imposing taxes on sugary drinks and high calories
food
making
companies.In conclusion,
addressing
the public health issue of junk
food
consumption requires a combination of education
and policy interventions. While educating individuals
about nutrition is essential, it must be complemented by measures that address
the economic and environmental factors driving unhealthy eating habits.