IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5
7.5
Overall Score
22 Jul 24, 12:21
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Overall Feedback
The essay is well-structured and addresses the question effectively, providing a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages. The grammar is accurate and varied, and the vocabulary is appropriate and diverse, though some points could be more deeply developed for a higher score.
| Overall score | 7.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 9.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 7.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 14 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 0 | |
| Lexical resource | 7 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 3 |
Question
Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
#Environment
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:318
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
creatures
to amusement parks has become a common practice, stirring a mix of excitement and controversy. On one hand, this development brings marine
life closer to people, fostering education and appreciation. Witnessing dolphins' playful antics or the serene grace of a giant turtle can spark curiosity and a deeper
understanding of ocean ecosystems. These experiences can inspire future marine
biologists and conservationists, creating a ripple effect of positive environmental impact.Moreover, amusement parks often fund significant research and conservation efforts. The revenue generated from ticket sales can support rescue operations, rehabilitation programs, and scientific studies aimed at preserving
marine
biodiversity. This financial backing is crucial in a world where marine
habitats are increasingly threatened by pollution, climate change, and overfishing.However, the disadvantages of this practice cannot be ignored. The most glaring issue is the ethical dilemma surrounding the captivity of intelligent, sentient beings. Many
marine
creatures
, such as orcas and dolphins, possess complex social structures and high cognitive abilities. Confining them to tanks, no matter how spacious, can lead to physical and psychological distress. The natural behaviors
of these animals are often stifled, resulting in a lower quality of life.Additionally, the transport and acclimatization processes can be traumatic and, in some cases, fatal. The disruption of social groups and the stress of captivity can lead to health issues and shortened lifespans. The educational value of seeing these
creatures
in captivity may also be questioned, as it presents an artificial view of their true nature and behaviors
.In conclusion, while the educational and conservation benefits of relocating ocean
creatures
to amusement parks are significant, the ethical and welfare concerns cast a long shadow. The disadvantages, especially concerning the animals' well-being, often outweigh the advantages. Therefore, it is crucial to explore alternative ways to engage with marine
life, such as virtual reality experiences or eco-tourism
, which respect the natural habitats of these magnificent creatures
.