IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
09 Jul 24, 00:35
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The essay addresses the question but contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, but the ideas could be more logically developed and better supported with examples.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors27
Grammatical range and accuracy6
Lexical resource13
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
While many advocate for the necessity of obtaining a higher education, others argue that it is not essential for success in today’s diverse job market.
Discuss both views regarding the necessity of higher education and give your opinion.
#Education
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:275
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Recently, it is argued that pursues a
higher
education
is crucial, while others
believe
that it
relies
in today's diverse career
market
not
because
of educational levels to success. I personally
believe
that a
higher
education
will occur
job
opportunities, and
high
-salaries, however, it is also due to the limitation of
job
market
.
There are several reasons why people
believe
that a
higher
education
is the necessity. First,
job
opportunities are predominant reason, which are required a top class of educational level. For example, doctor, engineering, and auditor are needed extremely academic background to get in the position. Furthermore, these
jobs
offer
high
-salaries to them, which supports them to improve their personal and professional living standards. Consequently, a
mojority
of people tend to chase a
high
ranking of knowledge.
On the other
hands
, the
limatation
of career
market
spaces
are
also
cosidered
as a crucial part to
be
successed
.
Unemployments
are increasing recently due to the population rose dramatically. As a result, numerous companies are not required to recruit new staffs in their firms
because
they already have permanent employees to respond on their works,
eventhrough
, they have a
higher
knowledge background applying for positions. For instance, IT positions in Australia are
high
demands since last
decade
but these days, there are no more recruited
because
they are already completed demands.
In conclusion, a
higher
education
is essential to obtain, which will provides a few benefits such as
job
placements, and a
high
income to improve standard living, nevertheless, there are also
because
of
jobs
market
space. I strongly
believe
a
higher
education
and
job
market
are
necessery
needed to be successful.