IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
06 Jan 25, 07:29
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the importance of mental health and the role of schools, but lacks clarity and coherence in its arguments. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors affecting readability and task achievement.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors43
Grammatical range and accuracy20
Lexical resource15
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4

Writing Task

#Health
#Direct Question
Mental health is increasingly recognized as crucial to overall well-being. Schools play a significant role in the early stages of a person's life, which can influence their mental health outcomes.
How important is mental health in overall well-being, and what role should schools play in supporting the mental health of their students?

Submitted Answer

Words325|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
Psychological conditions have been an impactful matter in human life. As a fundamental requirement of life, the educational institution has a crucial effect in human's development that conveys
people
's mindfulness. I do believe that having peace
mind
would be beneficial for
people
's life.
Therefore
,
school
must be a proper platform to
maintain
the
student
's
mental
wellness, such as scheduling and delivering arguments.
Underpressure, indeed, something we could found when most
people
work and study due to the deadlines. However, it can be avoided if
people
have
ability
to
maintain
their
time
.
therefore
, training in managing
time
is important.
in
practice,
student
can learn how to deal with
time
through
arraging
the timeline of activity in
school
.
it
can be a great solution to
maintain
student
's
mental
wellness.
for
instance,
student
can be more flexible in using their
time
to play when they have
time
proportion and when
thay
have to do a
home work
, as a result, their
time
can be more enjoyable.
In addition, better mind can be gained when
people
are able to deliver what their feel.
therefore
, giving opinion can be a
good
solution since
people
can express their opinion effortless.
many
cases of down
mental
have been reported because they cannot perform their arguments and share what they feel.
school
in addition, must be a training room for
student
to learn how to speak up and being an
expressful
person in a good way.
for
example, the
students
can train how to speak in the front of the class, story telling, or event being a presenter.
all
these practices covey confident to give opinion.
to conclude, having a good training in
maintaining
mental
health can be achieved through simple practices in
school
.
being
organised
person is very helpful, moreover, being
expressful
and confident is effective to release what
people
things, as a
result
there are no more misunderstanding and
unconveyed
feeling for
people
in the future.

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