IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
21 Jun 24, 22:23
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth and clarity in argumentation. Grammar and vocabulary usage are inconsistent, and coherence and cohesion need improvement for better readability.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 45 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 30 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Private education is often praised for its high standards and excellent results. However, it also raises issues of accessibility and equity, as not all families can afford the costs associated with private schooling, potentially leading to a divided society based on educational opportunities.
To what extent do you agree or disagree that private schools create more problems than they solve?
#Education
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:356
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Private
schools
are usually praised for their impressive scores. But, it has problems
with equality and how accessible it is for everyone, which can ultimately lead to favoring
those with great education
opportunities. In my opinion, I agree where private
instituions
may create more
issues as there were a lot of cases where people
experienced bias
over their educational
background
which caused
them to lose opportunities to work at a certain place. Additionally, private
education
doesn't
guarantee that all students
who attends
their school
will achieve excellent scores because
bribing teachers
are more prevalent in such
places.Nowadays, there are a lot of news about
bias
over people
's background
. Ultimately, it may cause
people
to lose their chance at obtaining a job
which can cause
them to struggle financially. For instance, two
people
from different
educational
backgrounds
attends
a
job
interview and one of the
candidate
is
an alumni
of a
prestigious
institution, which makes the interviewer believe that this
candidate
will perform, and forms a
bias
against the
other
candidate
.
However, educational
backgrounds
does
n't
reflect on work ethics, therefore, even though the candidate
came from a prestigious
school
, they might not be a fit for the job
.Which leads to the second point being,
private
school
doesn't
mean
great results. Although some would argue that schools
are expensive because
they're
good, some schools
are rather inaffordable
due to their large facilities. Meaning
that, the reason is
because
they need to maintain facilities that they own, such
as their swimming pool or theatre hall. Additionally, private
schools
are notorious for their bribing, which means
that if a student
is failing a class, they can bribe teachers
to make them pass instead. So, I believe that private
educations
actually carry more
problems
than what they claim to provide for students
.In conclusion, in my opinion,
private
school
causes
other
individuals to form a bias
towards students
who attended
such
prestigious
schools
, which can adversely affect other
people
who does
n't
have such
luxury. Such
institutions also have problems
with bribery among the teachers
, which creates more
issues if it ever gets exposed.