IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
16 Aug 24, 10:27
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks a clear thesis statement and sufficient examples. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors affecting readability and coherence.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 31 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 11 | |
| Lexical resource | 13 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them.
In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
#Entertainment
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:267
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
way
to achieve it is to play video
games
. Like everything, video
games
often divides people to choose between positive and negative aspect. Some prefers to side with its benefits while other stands on the opposite path.A
person
gives their best to anything if its
done from the soul. Video
games
can fill that soul with positivity. Moreover, it also
helps an indiviudal
to fight depression, loneliness and painful feelings to an extent. It is also
an energizer to
a lazy body which might improve performance for any work later on. It also
prevent
negative thoughts to arise in the mind as it pulls complete attention of an individual thus not letting the "mind be empty" which is often quoted as devil's workshop. Furthermore, a shift in balance of mood to the happier side is often a key trait of video
games
.While
video
games
can be mood
recharger or a medicinem
, it can also
turn into drugs and coccaine
if anyone develop
unhealthy
obsession of
it. It might destroy a person
's regular schedule if they don't
learn to manage time. While it can be a friend that
empowers a person
, it can also
be an enemy that triggers rage and tears if taken too seriously.Comming to the conclusion, Video
games
have balance between its benefits and side-effect
as it relates more to the mood. Its
not the video
game
that hampers a person
but the person
management and seriousness with video
games
.