IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
13 Aug 24, 17:26
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in discussing the problems and solutions related to technology dependence. There are numerous grammatical errors and issues with coherence and cohesion, which affect readability and overall clarity.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 36 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 11 | |
| Lexical resource | 16 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in dependence on technology, which affects various aspects of daily life and human interaction.
Discuss the problems caused by this dependency and suggest ways to reduce it.
#Technology
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:294
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
human
interactions and their day-to-day lifestyles have been affected by the relatively large increase in the deoendence
on
technology
. This has caused a number of environmental problems
some of which could be reduced by encouraging physical contact among people
.The
problem
of excessive use
of machinery has caused individuals to be limited in skills the
possess and in some fields of work. in
the medical field
for instance, the use
of robots and advanced equipments
to carr
out surgical procedures limits human
personel
. In another way
it can result in shortage of jobs and even unemployment as machines are built to perform the jobs humans were to do. Furthermore, there is a reduction in face
-to-face
contact between people
. Still in the health sector
for exampple
, machines are built to perform the procedures surgeons would have done. There is that lack of human
connection between the robot operating and the patient.With the
problems
emerging from more and more people
relying on technology
, I donot
think it is possible to reduce the use
of technology
. However, controlling when and how to use it can be helpful to humanity. A reduction in the number of machinery in
use
can be achieved by encouraging
people
to study more on how to do the jobs these
equiptments
were designed to
do
so much so that enough man power is available to carry out these functions.
To conclude, the
problem
of people
overly relying on tecnology
has resulted in limitation in human
skills and reduced face
-to-face
interactions. Reducing dependece
on technology
may not be possible
but encouraging humans to push themselves to carry out fuctions
which have been left for machines to do will positively help the society.