IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
13 Aug 24, 17:26
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in discussing the problems and solutions related to technology dependence. There are numerous grammatical errors and issues with coherence and cohesion, which affect readability and overall clarity.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors36
Grammatical range and accuracy11
Lexical resource16
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4
Question
In recent years, there has been a significant increase in dependence on technology, which affects various aspects of daily life and human interaction.
Discuss the problems caused by this dependency and suggest ways to reduce it.
#Technology
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:294
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
Over the past few years,
human
interactions and their day-to-day lifestyles have been affected by the relatively large increase in the
deoendence
on
technology
. This has caused a number of environmental
problems
some of which could be reduced by encouraging physical contact among
people
.
The
problem
of excessive
use
of machinery has caused individuals to be limited in skills
the
possess and in some fields of work.
in
the medical
field
for instance, the
use
of robots and advanced
equipments
to
carr
out surgical procedures limits
human
personel
. In another
way
it can result in shortage of jobs and even unemployment as machines are built to perform the jobs humans were to do. Furthermore, there is a reduction in
face
-to-
face
contact between
people
. Still in the health
sector
for
exampple
, machines are built to perform the procedures surgeons would have done. There is that lack of
human
connection between the robot operating and the patient.
With the
problems
emerging from more and more
people
relying on
technology
, I
donot
think it is possible to reduce the
use
of
technology
. However, controlling when and how to use it can be helpful to humanity.
A reduction in the number of machinery in
use
can be achieved by encouraging
people
to study more on how to do the jobs these
equiptments
were designed to
do
so much so that enough man power is available to carry out these functions.
To conclude, the
problem
of
people
overly relying on
tecnology
has resulted in limitation in
human
skills and reduced
face
-to-
face
interactions. Reducing
dependece
on
technology
may not be
possible
but encouraging humans to push themselves to carry out
fuctions
which have been left for machines to do will positively help the society.

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