IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
04 Dec 24, 23:18
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Overall Feedback
The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, but lacks a clear focus on the task, which affects coherence and task achievement. The response does not adequately address the causes of youth crime or propose solutions, and the ideas are not fully developed or logically organized.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 4.0 |
| Total Errors | 16 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 7 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Youth crime has been an issue of concern in many societies around the world. Understanding the reasons behind juvenile delinquency is crucial for developing effective interventions.
What do you think are the main causes of youth crime and how can society play a role in solving it?
#Youth Crime
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:305
Paragraphs:5
Opinion Required
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
monitoring
technologies are increasingly being employed to observe young
people
's activities
, not just those of babies or toddlers, with the aim of preventing youth crime. In this essay, I will examine the advantages and disadvantages of this practice.Generally speaking, many individuals are utilizing
monitoring
tools to supervise adolescents in hopes of averting juvenile delinquency. One of the primary advantages is that any suspicious activity
or irregular behavior
can be detected and investigated immediately. Additionally, if young
people
face danger, guardians or authorities can quickly locate them. Therefore, these technologies are considered essential in combating crimes, especially those committed by teenagers.However, despite the usefulness of
monitoring
the activities
of the younger
generation, the disadvantages seem to outweigh the benefits. Closely supervising young
people
can be mentally exhausting for them and can negatively affect their psychological health. For instance, my cousin has strict parents who are overly protective, constantly monitoring
her activities
. As a result, her mental health has significantly deteriorated.Another drawback is the invasion of
privacy
, as it is well-known that teenagers need their personal space. If this privacy
is violated, adolescents may react in undesirable ways. Furthermore, the entire process of meticulously tracking their activities
is time-consuming and has shown minimal results in effectively preventing youth crime so far.In conclusion, the numerous disadvantages, such as the impact on mental health and invasion of
privacy
, surpass the few advantages of using surveillance and monitoring
software to observe the younger
generation, even if the intention is to prevent minor criminality. It is crucial to find a balance that respects young
people
's privacy
while ensuring their safety.