IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
04 Jul 24, 07:54
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are present but could be improved with better transitions and clearer structure. Lexical resource is adequate but lacks variety and precision.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 29 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 12 | |
| Lexical resource | 9 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment.
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
#Globalisation
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:330
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
well
as the rising number of multinational cooperations have lead to the deterioration of the global climate. From my perspective, even though industrialisation has a severe impact on the environment, thus
there also decline
the pollution due to
the technological advancement, so I absolutely
agree with the given statement.First and foremost,
due to
globalisation, business is becoming increasingly international, which may significantly detrimented
the natural living status. One of the main reason
associated with that is obviously the environmentally unfriendly industrial manufacturing process. To be specific, due to
the burgeoning population, there is a huge demand on
products among customers or services which industrial corporation have to produce goods frequently and damage the pollution by its toxic gases from the factory. For instance, as teenagers tends
to chasing for the latest fashion trends, many lavish clothing brands from multinational companies have overproduce
clothes, which cost a substantial amount of silk and contaminate pure water from rivers. As a result, globalisation has led to the excessive use of products as well
as the carelessness of corporation on manufacturing items have detrimented
the pollution.Furthermore, many organisations are prioritized economic growth rather than sustainability. To be more precise, financial success is their basis
acomplishment
which prevents them from not just only respecting nature element but also ultilizing
these green spaces for their materialistic ideas. This could include some detrimented
activities such as deforestation, soil degradation or invading animal habitat for industrialisation. For example, the Amazon tropical forest has been notoriously damaged by international companies to construct their factories as well
as residential complexes for local citizens
which straightforwardly affected the natural food chain and the extinction to
innocent species. In the end, the company's ambition and citizen's requirement
have serverely
impact to
the global status.In conclusion, the rising demand for globalisation has deteriorated the environment in
various aspect
such as the manufacturing systems as well
as its invasion in the natural habitat.