IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
19 Jun 24, 21:08
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but contains grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. Coherence and cohesion are generally good, but the essay could benefit from more detailed examples and better logical flow.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors32
Grammatical range and accuracy12
Lexical resource13
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Space exploration has been a monumental part of human achievement, offering new insights and technological advancements. However, it also requires significant investment and is not without risks.
What are the major benefits and the significant costs and risks associated with space exploration?
#Space Exploration
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:277
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
On of the primary
benefits
of
space
exploration
is the advancements in
scientific
world. Exploring the galaxy has led to development of enormous technologies such as GPS navigations and satellite communications. However, conducting these
missions
comes at a
high
expenditure
cost
and even risks
human
lives
, and thus raising the question about the balance between the
benefits
gained and the associated risks.
To begin with, technological advancements are the primary force that drives
authorites
to continue exploring the approachable galaxy. Many gadgets and technologies present on the earth are the direct result of the knowledge gained through
space
missions
. For instance, the navigation applications used in cars and mobile phones are supported through the satellites present in the earth's
higher
orbit. Moreover, the basic material and patterns for
freeway
ramps are developed through the experiments used for landing shuttles. Therefore,
space
explorations
is
vital for
mankind
growth, as experts learn about different aspects of our universe.
However, the financial and
human
cost
associated with
space
missions
is
high
. For instance,
average
budget required to send a single person to the
space
station could help solve
hunger
crisis in poor African countries and provide education to underprivileged kids. Moreover, there have been
many unsuccessful
space
such as Columbia, where the crew lost their
lives
. Furthermore, the crew is exposed to harass environment and radiation levels, potentially leading to
long term
health problems.
In
conclussion
, while
space
explorations
is
benificial
for technological development and
understand
the universe, it also
involve
heavy financial and
human
cost
. Authorities
needs
to understand the balance between
benefits
and disadvantages, and ensure that pursing knowledge does not come at the expense of
life
.