IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
05 Aug 24, 16:06
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, but the ideas could be more logically developed and better supported with examples.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 38 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 17 | |
| Lexical resource | 12 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Competitive sports are often praised for fostering determination and excellence but criticized for possibly promoting excessive competitiveness and stress.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of competitive sports.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:293
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
look
up and get the most attentions
especially
young adults, however
it is also
get called
for influencing people of extreme aggresiveness
and pressures. In this essay, I will discuss
the advantages and disadvantages of competitive sports.Joining a sport may become very rare
to
some individuals, it is sometimes need
a great passion of loving it before you actually achieve your goal. Being in the sports
are
very important
as it has a lot to offer to us, not only it makes a person famous
but
it
also
makes someone build confidence and
also
become
rich by joining
contest
all around the world.
For instance, in the Philippines, Manny Pacquio has won a couple of times in boxing and
he earned a lot of money that he was considered as one of the richest person
in the country.While being in
a competitive sports
may do some good intentions to us. We cannot deny that it brings some drawbacks to athletes. Offentimes
, they were attack by viewers who see sports that are way too much
of a hassle, due to the amount of trainings to gain perfections. For example, in the UK
there was a swimmer who tremendously practiced
day and night and got hospitalised due to exorbitant exhaustion. This is only one of so many examples that competitive sports may not be another person`s
fond.In conclusion,
emulous
sports offers
significant advantages, including being famous, rich and build confidence
making more people attracts to join the sports.However, it also
presents challenges such as excessive trainings and caused stress that may lead to illness. By balancing the benefits with limitations, atlethes
can maximize the potential of learning with experience.