IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
27 Jul 24, 13:33
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The essay addresses the main issues of overpopulation and suggests solutions, but it lacks clarity and coherence in some parts. Grammar and vocabulary usage are adequate but could be improved for better accuracy and variety.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors28
Grammatical range and accuracy13
Lexical resource8
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Overpopulation in urban areas can lead to overcrowding, pollution, and resource depletion, creating numerous challenges for city planners and residents alike.
What are the main issues caused by overpopulation in urban areas and how can these issues be effectively addressed?
#Development
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:274
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Nowadays, one of the major issues faced by the big
cities
worldwide is
overpopulation
as the facilities and amenities and better opportunities of urban
cities
leads
to the migration
form
countryside
consequently resulting in overcrowding. This essay will address the important
problems
due to
overpopulation
and some possible solutions should be taken by governments and at individual level.
Though, there are a lot of issues, urban
cities
are experiencing caused by
overpopulation
, a major issue is quality housing. Increase in population means overuse of
resources
especially
land
which ultimately
leaving
no space for greenery and consequently
causing
bad quality air and pollution. Another crucial difficulty undergoing is increased crime. Migrated people come with a hope for
better
quality of living and better employment opportunities. However, if their expected dreams do not get fulfilled and eventually turn
to misdeed
.
Nevertheless, these
problems
could be addressed by the government intervention.
State
should encourage vertical expansion housing to handle the raised population and should
do the needful
.
Finally
leaving the land for green spaces which could
help
in reducing
negetive
effect on
environment
. Creating jobs for the needy community can
help
in lessening the crime rate and even installing cameras in the streets. Although, citizens of urban areas could also
help
by spreading awareness of ways to handle these
problems
. Some non-government organisations can educate people about family planning and empowering women.
To conclude, in
cities
, there are serious
problems
due to
overpopulation
which need to be taken care of by both the government and individual level. Promoting high-rise buildings, increasing job possibilities, spreading awareness about having fewer children can
help
to make it possible.