IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
23 Jun 24, 07:32
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. Coherence and cohesion are generally good, but the essay could benefit from more precise vocabulary and better logical flow.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 29 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 3 | |
| Lexical resource | 19 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Cultural diversity in the workplace can lead to a variety of viewpoints and ideas, enhancing creativity and decision-making.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of cultural diversity in the workplace.
#Culture
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:352
Paragraphs:7
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
workplaces
, there are several workers with different
ethincities
, with can lead
to conflicts of values among workers thanks to their cultures. This may lead
to a variety of
viewpoints and ideas
, which improves creativity and more accurate decision-making. However, It also
brings
some problems to the workplace
.First,
lets
talk about the pros that cultural
diversity
brings
to then workplace
. To start off, a diverse
workforce can better understand and cater to a broader customer
base. Employees
who share the same cultural
background
as customers
can provide valuable insights into their preferences, needs, and expectations. By embracing cultural
diversity
, organizations can effectively target diverse
markets
, gain a competitive edge, and improve customer
satisfaction.Moreover,
cultural
diversity
nurtures adaptability and flexibility within the workplace
. Employees
learn to navigate and appreciate different
communication
styles, customs, and work practices. This adaptability enables organizations to respond more effectively to diverse
customer
demands, changes in the industry, and emerging global opportunities.Furthermore,
cultural
diversity
encourages the sharing of unique perspectives, experiences, and ideas
. When employees
from different
cultural
backgrounds
collaborate, they bring
a wide range of insights and approaches to problem-solving. This rich exchange of ideas
fosters creativity and innovation, leading
to fresh solutions and the ability to adapt to changing market
dynamics.However, there are
also
disadvantages. In some cases, cultural
diversity
can inadvertently lead
to segregation within the workplace
. Employees
may naturally gravitate towards individuals from similar cultural
backgrounds
, forming cliques or subgroups. This can hinder collaboration, limit the sharing of ideas
, and create an unproductive work environment.In addition,
diverse
cultural
backgrounds
may lead
to communication
challenges. Language barriers, different
communication
styles, and cultural
norms can hinder effective collaboration and understanding. Misinterpretation of messages or lack of clarity can lead
to conflicts and inefficiencies if not managed properly.In conclusion, although
cultural
diversity
in workplace
gives the company can lead
to a more international market
and increase flexibility in workplaces
, it also
brings
inconvenience to it like discrimination and communicarion
challenges. It is important to know the pros and cons of cultural
diversity
in workplaces
and use it well.