IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5

6.5
Overall Score
06 Aug 24, 18:42
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The essay provides a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples, demonstrating good task achievement. However, there are some grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing that affect readability and coherence.

Overall score6.5
Grammatical range and accuracy7.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors19
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource10
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response3
Question
Globalisation is often credited with the creation of job opportunities through new markets and investments. Conversely, it is blamed for job displacements due to companies relocating their operations to countries with cheaper labor.
Do you agree or disagree that globalisation creates more job opportunities than it displaces?
#Globalisation
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:296
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Nowadays, due to the fast-paced development of
international
markets, globalisation leads to
more
cross-border
cooperation
. This trend not only benefits many
firms
in expanding their scale of production but also leads to the formation of
occupation
opportunities for labour internationally. However,
people
cast doubt that domestic labour might lose their jobs as it is cheaper for
firms
to allocate operations in certain regions of the world. In my opinion, I firmly believe that globalisation brings
more
occupations
rather than it displaces.
First of all, globalisation could boost technological development and lead to
more
job opportunities.
Cooperation
between
firms
from
different
countries might
foster
more
technological equipment trading, which requires related employees to operate and conduct Research and Development projects. For instance, China might import some production machines from the USA to increase the productivity of domestic factories and produce their own high-output machinery. This causes
more
IT workers to be needed to investigate the structure, functional principles, and components of the advanced machines.
Hence
, globalisation could
foster
more
requirements for technological-related employees.
Secondly, the increasing
international
cooperation
could cause
more
people
needed for communication between
different
parties.
Occupations
like lawyers and interpreters are becoming
more
essential in cross-border businesses. For instance, there will be diversified regulations under
different
jurisdictions, which could
foster
numerous occasions of
international
infringements.
Hence
, lawyers who are mastering
international
cooperation
law will be a requirement for those
international
firms
. Additionally, interpreters allow
people
with
different
native languages to communicate
fluently
as professional interpreters translate
more
accurately than machinery translator apps.
Overall, globalisation could
foster
an increasing demand for several types of
occupations
due to the changing atmosphere, which could allow
more
people
to be employed.
Hence
, I stand that globalisation will bring
more
job opportunities than displacements.