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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
04 Apr 25, 20:57
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Overall Feedback

The essay provides a basic discussion on tourism's impact on peace and conflict but lacks depth and specific examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate, though there are some inaccuracies and limited range, while coherence and cohesion could be improved with better organization and transitions.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors20
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response5

Writing Task

#Tourism
#Discussion
Tourism is often cited as a means to promote peace by bringing people together, but it can also exacerbate tensions by highlighting economic disparities.
Discuss whether tourism more effectively promotes peace or exacerbates conflicts.

Submitted Answer

Words180|Paragraphs3
English:US English
Global Issues:
Word Count Requirement
Paragraph Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
Most
people
could define
tourism
as just the action of displacing a person from
its
native place to another, usually for recreational purposes. What most
people
don't
know is that,
tourism
represents a great income for macro and micro economies, benefiting natives worldwide
Paragraph 2 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Tourism
is something that could promote peace by bringing
people
together, or opening their minds to new cultures and languages. Thanks to it, many conflicts between countries may be
supressed
or softened. The country grows in infrastructure and trained staff for
tourism
. There are reports from emerging countries that show
tourism
has been an important help for their economies, bringing them the opportunities of education for their
people
.
On the other hand, some
people
's opinion on
tourism
is negative, but these are just a few voices compared to the amount of
people
who embrace
tourism
as a positive thing. The reason why these
people
think
tourism
as negative, is usually because they prefer not to share their territory
to
foreigners. In the light of this, many
tourism
companies have been making campaigns to embrace
tourism

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