IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7
IELTS Essay Sample Band 7
7.0
Overall Score
29 Jul 24, 11:27
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Overall Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the question with clear arguments and solutions. It demonstrates strong grammar, coherence, and vocabulary, though further elaboration on some points could enhance task achievement and idea development.
| Overall score | 7.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 9.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 17 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 0 | |
| Lexical resource | 8 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6 | |
| Task response | 3 |
Question
Many workers face barriers to career advancement, which can lead to unequal opportunities in the workplace.
What factors contribute to unequal opportunities in career advancement, and what measures can be taken to ensure equality?
#Work
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:271
Paragraphs:6
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
career
advancement
, leading to unequal opportunities
in the workplace. Key factors contributing to this disparity include systemic discrimination, lack of access to professional development
, and organizational culture
.Systemic discrimination based on race, gender, age, or other characteristics significantly impacts
career
advancement
. Biases and stereotypes often influence hiring and promotion decisions, resulting in a lack of diversity in leadership roles. Unconscious biases can also cause employees
from underrepresented groups to be overlooked for promotions.Missing Linking Devices
development
is another critical factor. Employees
who do not have opportunities
for training and skill development
are at a disadvantage when seeking career
progression. This is particularly evident in smaller organizations
with limited resources or industries where continuous education is not prioritized.Organizational
culture
also plays a crucial role. Companies that do not prioritize inclusivity or fail to create environments where all employees
feel valued may hinder the advancement
of certain groups. A culture
that emphasizes networking and mentorship can disadvantage those who are not part of established social circles within the organization
.To ensure equality in
career
advancement
, several measures can be implemented. Organizations
should provide comprehensive diversity and inclusion training to address unconscious biases. Transparent promotion processes and criteria can help ensure fair evaluations of all employees
. Equal access to professional development
opportunities
, such as training programs and mentorship, is also essential. Moreover, fostering an inclusive organizational culture
where diversity is celebrated and all employees
feel valued will help create a more equitable workplace.Missing Linking Devices
organizations
can create a level playing field, allowing all employees
the opportunity
to advance in their careers
.