IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
16 Jul 24, 23:21
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Vocabulary usage is adequate but could be more varied, and the essay would benefit from better organization and clearer development of ideas.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors35
Grammatical range and accuracy10
Lexical resource16
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4
Question
Immigrants often face challenges in assimilating into a new culture, which can lead to social exclusion and personal conflict.
What are the main difficulties faced by immigrants in assimilating into a new culture and what measures can be taken to ease this process?
#Culture
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:340
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Many people find the immigration challenging during the beginning year, as they identify various
cultural
differences while adapting
into
a
new
place and culture. Though there are lots of excitements and learning a person can get while migrating into
new
country
,
a lots finds
it challenging through social exclusion and individual conflicts while understanding
new
norms and background.
Firstly, immigrants face issues in
accomodation
, which is different from their home
country
. There is always a reluctance of change when it comes
about
the living
habit
. They have to adjust
with
people who come from different
cultural
background
,
behavior
, and the
food
they eat, which leads to socio-
cultural
exclusion at the beginning, creating
lonliness
, frustration, anxiety
to
them. In parallel, the adjustment with their work and study aids additional stress, resulting in a mental distortion. One example is a personal
biasness
through their
cultural
background, religion and the language barrier. As a result, the
expetants
have conflict with the flatmates they live with, generating psychological impact at the beginning.
Although, some folks immediately manage to create a friendly environment with the people minimising issues, there are certain ways like ignoring the assumptions with the
biasness
, creating a
behavior
of acceptance and learning
new
culture would emphasise more towards the easiness in accepting the social norms.
Secondly, the temporary residents face difficulties in adapting
food
and nutrition of a
new
country
. It is
diffucult
to get the
food
taste of their
country
, leading to a healthy
food
consumption. This impacts them in their work, study and living situation, where they have to practice their
new
food
habits. Some measures to minimise this difficulty is to live to their comfortable community. Since, south
asian
countries
have similar taste of
foods
, living with them would contribute to their health dietary habits.
In conclusion, yes, immigrants often
faces
various challenges aligning into a
new
culture like
accomodation
,
food
, language barrier or
cultural
differences, accepting the
new
practices and processes that
is
in their control would provide benefits in continuing their stay in health environment.