IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

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24 Aug 24, 11:26

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The essay effectively addresses the advantages and disadvantages of attending live music events with clear and relevant points. However, it could benefit from more varied sentence structures and a stronger thesis statement to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Overall score	7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy	8.0
Lexical resource	6.0
Coherence & cohesion	6.0
Task response	7.0

Writing Task

#Entertainment

#Advantage / Disadvantage

Live music events, including concerts and festivals, offer attendees an opportunity to experience music directly from artists in a communal setting.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of attending live music events?

Submitted Answer

Words332|Paragraphs13

English:

Global Issues:

Task Response

Readability

Coherence

Cohesion

Vocabulary Usage

Grammar Range

Ideas Development

Logical Flow

Paragraph 1 Issues:

Thesis Statement

Live

music

events

, such as concerts and festivals, provide a unique and immersive

experience

that allows fans to connect with their

favorite

artists and

their passion for music with others. However,

attending

these

events

comes with both advantages and disadvantages that should be considered before making a decision.

Paragraph 2 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Advantages of

Attending

Live

Music

Events

Paragraph 3 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Communal Atmosphere

Paragraph 4 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Live

music

events

foster a

sense

of community and belonging among attendees who

a love for the artist or genre. The

shared

experience

of singing along, dancing, and cheering together creates a powerful

sense

of unity and excitement. This communal atmosphere can be incredibly uplifting and provide a

sense

of connection that is often missing in everyday life.

[1]

Paragraph 5 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Social Interaction and Connection

Live

music

events

provide a platform for social interaction and connection. Whether you

attend

with friends, family, or even strangers, the

shared

experience

of enjoying a

live

performance together can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories. The excitement, laughter, and applause you

with the audience create a

sense

of unity and joy that enhances the overall

experience

[1]

Paragraph 7 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Disadvantages of

Attending

Live

Music

Events

Paragraph 8 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

High Costs

Paragraph 9 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Attending

live

music

events

can be expensive, especially for large-scale concerts or festivals. Ticket prices, travel expenses, food and drinks, and merchandise can quickly add up, making these

events

a significant financial investment.

[2]

Paragraph 10 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Uncomfortable Conditions

Venues can be hot, crowded, and noisy, which can be uncomfortable for some attendees. Long lines, limited restroom facilities, and poor ventilation can also contribute to a less-than-ideal

experience

[4]

Paragraph 12 Issues:

Missing Linking Devices

Conclusion

Attending

live

music

events

offers a unique and immersive

experience

that can be incredibly rewarding and emotionally powerful. However, it is important to weigh the advantages and disadvantages before making a decision. Consider your budget, your tolerance for crowds and noise, and your personal preferences when deciding whether or not to

attend

live

music

event

. Ultimately, the decision should be based on your individual needs and expectations for a fulfilling and enjoyable

experience