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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
Overall Score
28 Mar 25, 14:55
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a balanced discussion and a clear opinion. However, coherence could be improved with smoother transitions, and vocabulary could be more varied to enhance expression.
Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors13
Grammatical range and accuracy5
Lexical resource2
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3

Writing Task

#Entertainment
#Discussion
Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Submitted Answer

Words280|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
It is undeniable that in this modern era, music has become an integral part
in
the society. While some people argue that listening to music is considered as a part of entertainment or a hobby, others think that it holds more significant purposes beyond that. In my opinion, music has a wider contribution to society than simply serves as mere entertainment.
On the one hand, as a form of entertainment, music helps individuals to relax and relieve stress. Many people dislike
silence
which leads them to turn on the music to create a more comfortable atmosphere. Other than that, singing a popular
song
with friends or family is also one of the examples to
enjoy
music, strengthening a special bond between individuals. Watching concerts, in addition, is also another popular option for the youth to relieve stress after a hard week of work.
On the other hand, music has a more important role in shaping society and contributing to the development of a nation. In such a development process, there are many instances where activists create
songs
to make people aware
on
the current issues, like inequality or government injustices. For instance, there is a band in Indonesia who make
songs
about the victims of 90s suppression, during which many students went missing. These
songs
will become a powerful reminder of critical issues, ensuring the younger generation remain aware of past struggles and prevent history from repeating itself.
In conclusion, I believe that music is never just about its enjoyable aspects, but also triggers to make a better future for the next generation. Artists should create more thought-provoking music to inspire the young generation and encourage their critical thinking.

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