IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
27 Sept 24, 11:56
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The essay addresses the question but contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, but the essay could benefit from clearer structure and more precise vocabulary usage.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors54
Grammatical range and accuracy10
Lexical resource35
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4
Question
In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment.
Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience.
#Entertainment
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:348
Paragraphs:6
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
It is stated that , majority of the economically established
contries
, consider
purchasing
goods as a matter of
satisfaction
similler
to daily
requirments
.
However, in my
openion
, while
I belive
, that it is a
waist
of hardly earned money and leading to
loose
the
sence
of buying
behaviour
, I agree that
shopping
for hobby has increased the consumer
satisfaction
by helping them to relive the stress levels and to overcome the busy lifestyle.
Moreover, this habit has contributed to gain a
possitive
impact
towards economy, by
accalerating
the demand for products and services.
Also
created job
oppertunities
in the market.
However, due to globalization and change of lifestyle, has made
people
busy and stressful. To overcome the situation,
people
choose
purchasing
as a major factor. For an instant, there are many alternatives in the market depending on their ability to pay. Further, online shopping platforms with doorstep delivery , has
boost
the
buying
behaviours
. Owing
that
, they tend to choose
purchasing
over the other entertainment facilities.
Consequently, the habit of
buying
has
accalerate
the demand for products and services, which has
possitively
affected on economy and increased the job opportunities. This is
also
another
favorable
impact
of
shopping
for
satisfaction
. Additionally, consumer
buying
behaviour
depends on their action and the
desion
on purchasing which can influenced by, income, profession, and marketing efforts.
Missing Linking Devices
For an example, according to a recent report, consumer
buying
behaviour
has effected four times higher in developed
contries
than developing
countrries
.
Moreover, there are negative
impacts
also
in
shopping
for
satisfaction
.
Waist
of hardly earned money is one of them. When
people
satisfy
themselve
with products and services, they tend to
loose
their
controll
of buying
behaviour
. Which, leads to
purchase
, both necessary and the unnecessary things. Mainly they
forcus
on the quality than the
quntity
or the price. Which is a clear indication
for
waisting
of hardly earned money.
To conclude,
dispite
of negative
impacts
of
shopping
for as an entertainment factor, I agree that it has more
possitive
impacts
on
people
by reliving stress and
increas
the
satisfaction
levels.
Also
that has
accalerate
the economy.

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