IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
12 Sept 24, 08:26
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in argumentation and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors and could be more varied.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 24 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8 | |
| Lexical resource | 8 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
#Food
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:319
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
consumption
of junk
food
has become increasingly popular, leading to a significant debate about the most effective way to prevent health deterioration. Some argue that providing health education
to people
is the right solution, while others believe that education
is inadequate to inform people
about the further risks of consuming junk
food
. In this essay, I will discuss
both views and argue that education
is crucial in raising awareness about the dangers of junk
food
.On one hand,
education
could be a helpful approach to increase people
’s knowledge about the risks of consuming junk
food
frequently. Specifically, if they are well-educated about the negative influence of junk
food
, they would more likely commencing to reduce their consumption
of junk
food
. This approach could be done by an introduction to healthy
life style
. For instance, the government could spread health awareness through the social media. In this case, campaigns are needed. The collaboration of the government and public health institution
is needed in order to make the campaigns more well known and reach the target audience.On the other hand, opponents argue that
education
is not sufficient to persuade people
who are addicted to junk
food
. However, several approaches have been done before. Yet, it does not meet the expectation. The consumption
of junk
foods
continously
rising. A research
conducted by TIU University demonstrates that there is an 80% upward trend of the consumption
of junk
food
compared to the previous years. This research plays a key role in proving that education
is not sufficient to make people
aware of the bad influence of junk
foods
.In summary, the bad influences of
junk
foods
can be seen as
a key role of
health deterioration. Yet, education
is inadequate to revolutionized
the high demand of junk
foods
consumption
. Moreover, government
needs to think about another effective way to disenchant people
from the junk
food
addiction.