IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
10 Apr 25, 09:23
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the importance of international sports events but lacks depth in exploring their impact on national pride and unity. Grammatical errors and informal language affect clarity, while ideas need more development and logical flow.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors35
Grammatical range and accuracy13
Lexical resource12
Coherence & cohesion6
Task response4

Writing Task

#Sport
#Direct Question
International sports events like the Olympics and World Cup are viewed not only as sports competitions but also as platforms for promoting national pride and unity.
Why are international sports events important, and how do they impact national pride and unity?

Submitted Answer

Words263|Paragraphs4
English:US English
Global Issues:
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
It is believed that some major
international
sports
events
such as
Soccer's World Cup and Olympics are not only viewed as a competitive sports
events
in general, but also to advertise
countries
that are participating to get their pride and unite the
country
.
There are several
reason
why
International
sports
event
such as
Olympics
and World Cup important
and
it's
considered as one of the most impactful
event
for the
country
. The first
reason
is
because
the
national pride of each
individuals
.
Let's
say you are Indonesian, and for some
reason
, Indonesia participated in the World Cup, of
course
as an Indonesian, you want Indonesia to win it to make you proud that you are an Indonesian citizen. So as other
people
, as a member
for
their
country
, it is certain that they want their
country
to win
an
major
international
sports
events
. So,
because
people
have the urge to make
themself
proud to become the citizen of their beloved
country
, they unite to support their
country
.
The other
reason
is that the feeling that your
country
want
to be recognized by another citizen of other
country
. If your
country
won a World Cup or Olympics, it is certain that your
country
will be recognized globally
,
because
these major
events
are being watched by thousands and millions
people
around the globe. And you as the civilian of these
country
, will say that you are the champions of the world.
Overall,
International
sports
events
such as
World Cup and Olympics is
really important
to unite their
people
to supporting their
country
.

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