IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
25 Jun 24, 14:58
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and lacks coherence and cohesion. Vocabulary usage is adequate but not varied, and ideas are not fully developed or logically organized.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors45
Grammatical range and accuracy13
Lexical resource25
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Globalisation is often seen as a positive force for economic development but it also exacerbates income disparities between countries.
What problems arise from these disparities, and what solutions can be implemented to reduce them?
#Globalisation
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:350
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
It is believed by many that globalisation has a
postive
impact
to
the
economical
growth, however this phenomenon
also
worsening the income gap between
states
. This is essay emphasises that the main
problems
of that phenomenon are perpetual
conflict
between
rich
and
poor
countries
and rising of illegal migrants. To answer those
problems
, a
policy
to help others and
global
funding
to undeveloped
countries
.
Two unwanted effects of monetary disparities between
countries
are potential unending
conflicts
and the international trespassers. There is a big possibility of
jealousy-fueled
animosity between the haves and the haves not
in
global
scale. A
poor
country
will always look the
rich
country
with
hatred
while the
rich
one see the
poor
as a lazy nation. This battle of thought will
ended
on the real battle and caused an unending war. Moreover,
economical
disparities
also
ignite the illicit immigrations. Citizens from a
poor
country
will always dream to
seek
the livelihood by moving to another territory, they are striving for it at all cost, including breaking the law. This activity
create
a massive
problem
in the host
country
afterwards, criminality such as robbery and even terrorism.
To address those dangerous possibilities, the
global
authority
such as
United
Nations should impose a
good
neighbor
policy
and
making
donations to the
poor
countries
. A
good
neighbor
policy
is a
policy
which
obligate
every wealthy
state
to look after its
neighboring
states
when they face a financial obstacle. This should be implemented by a governing body so the
disrepancies
between
countries
in terms of economy could be diminished. Furthermore, that
global
authority should
also
have a
funding
mechanism by itself. It should be able to alleviate the suffering of the
poor
countries
, giving a direct donation or lending money without high interest are the concrete step that or even offer to build
insfrastructures
should be taken by that ruling body.
In conclusion, the main
problems
of
economical
disrepancies
caused by globalisation are the potential
jealousy-fueled
conflict
and
flood
of unlawful migrants. Two solutions should be taken are implementing a
good
neighbor
policy
and organizing a
global
funding
.

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