IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5

7.5
Overall Score
04 Jul 24, 18:23
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The essay effectively discusses both the advantages and disadvantages of competitive sports on education, providing a clear opinion. However, the essay could benefit from more varied vocabulary and slightly better coherence in transitions between ideas.

Overall score7.5
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors13
Grammatical range and accuracy1
Lexical resource5
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and opine.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:233
Paragraphs:4
Word Count Requirement
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
It is argued that participating in sports competitions can have a positive impact on youngsters’ education, whereas others believe it can negatively affect their learning. This essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks of sports competitions and present my perspective.
The predominant benefit of competing in sports is that it promotes both
physical
and
mental
health. Engaging in sports activities helps
students
maintain their
physical
fitness and
mental
well-being. For example, many high schools include sports activities as part of their weekly schedule, allowing
students
to improve their
physical
health and stabilize their
mental
state. Additionally, sports provide opportunities for
students
to make new friends and explore interests, such as pursuing a career as an athlete.
Despite these benefits, there are a few drawbacks to competitive sports. Children may suffer injuries while playing, causing them to miss classes and fall behind in their studies, which can negatively impact their grades. Moreover, some
students
may become overly obsessed with sports, losing interest in their academic pursuits. This addiction can jeopardize their future careers due to a lack of essential knowledge.
In conclusion, while there are arguments that sports competitions can
have negative effects on
children’s education, I strongly believe that the positive impacts, such as maintaining
physical
and
mental
health, outweigh the drawbacks. However, it is important to manage these activities to prevent a loss of interest in studies and potential injuries.