IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
15 Aug 24, 17:19
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in argumentation and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors and limited range. Coherence and cohesion are present but could be improved for better readability.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 20 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4 | |
| Lexical resource | 9 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels.
Do the disadvantages of this trend outweigh the advantages?
#Culture
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:250
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
People
from different countries are now sharing the similar lifestyle, even as simple as eating habits. There are some advantages and drawbacks that come up after this phenomenon. However, the advantages strongly outweigh the bad effects from that case. This essay will illustrate why similaritization
among nations is enormously beneficial.A good transfer of cultures can highly support the equality between regions.
People
in developed countries today do not feel the huge gap happened just between the centre and the outskirt
side of any state decades ago. The rationale behind this is a massive share of informations
on the newest trends, gossips, new technologies, and many others today, even into the farthest corner of the city. Consequently, it more likely equalises the standard of people
to live viably. For instance, people
in Papua have already stopped the tribal wars and started to educate their children after the mass move of educated immigrants.Some say that regularization of style can degenerate the
moral
of human being. It is because the modern trends often can not
conform to the local cultures and rules, thus potentially make social issues. It actually occured
in Jakarta, where the rapid and transient change of people
's taste of fashions ovherwhelmed
the religious and cultural people
. However, the scarcity of the actual phenomenon among this topic make this discussion of disadvantage irrelevant.In conclusion, the benefit of uniformity of
people
preference of their needs is strongly outweigh
the drawbacks.