IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
22 Jul 24, 15:17
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in discussing the problems and solutions. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain noticeable errors. Coherence and cohesion are generally maintained, but the logical flow could be improved.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 28 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 13 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
In many regions, there is a significant disparity in the allocation of educational resources, which can affect the quality of education received by students from different backgrounds.
What problems are caused by unequal distribution of educational resources and how can this issue be addressed?
#Education
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:265
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
students
in different location has been impacted because
educational resources are not equally distributed. This essay aims to discuss
the problems resulted of this situation and the importance of having audit process in educational systems to control and avoid unbalanced allocation of resources.To begin with, for many children, especially in developing countries,
schools
are not only a place to learn but also a safelocation
where they can grow and spend time with their friends. However, in order to offer a good environment, schools
need to spend money
with their teachers salary and with maintenence
to repair their infraestructure, otherwise
they will not be able to keep their students
inside schools
.Public resources are easily diverted to wrong places
,
because
there is no proper management on
this money
. Consequently, having audit
process that maps all resource`s
allocation for education could be a good
solution. For instance, I am from Brazil, which is a developing and corrupted country. It is very common and noticicle
the fact that education resource`s
do not arrive in some schools
because
there is no control and management on this money
. As a result, some schools
in big cities receive more money
than the ones located in rural areas.In conclusion,
students
need to feel safe in order to stay at school
, and this is will
happen if schools
offer a good infrastructure and teachers to their students
. Therefore, I firmly believe an audit system should be implemented in every country to make sure resourcers
are equaly
distributed.