IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5

7.5
Overall Score
15 Oct 24, 13:45
Want to practice this question?
Go to IELTS Essay Checker

Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a balanced discussion and a clear opinion. It demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, though further development of ideas could enhance coherence and cohesion.
Overall score7.5
Grammatical range and accuracy9.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion8.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors14
Grammatical range and accuracy0
Lexical resource7
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
#Health
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:323
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
In today’s world, maintaining good health is a top priority for many. While some argue that increasing the number of sports
facilities
is the most effective way to
improve
public
health, others believe that alternative measures are required to make a real impact.
This essay will discuss
both perspectives and provide my own opinion on the issue.
On one hand, it is true that expanding sports
facilities
can encourage people to engage in physical activity, which is essential for maintaining good health. Regular exercise has been proven to reduce the risk of many chronic diseases,
such as
heart disease, obesity, and diabetes. For instance, countries with a high number of gyms and recreational
centers
tend to have healthier populations because people have easy
access
to exercise options. Therefore, investing in sports
facilities
can be a valuable step towards
improving
public
health.
On the other hand, solely relying on sports
facilities
may not be enough to address the broader health issues in society. Many health problems are caused by factors unrelated to physical activity,
such as
poor diet, pollution, and lack of
healthcare
access
. For example, if individuals do not have
access
to clean drinking water or nutritious food, simply exercising more will not significantly
improve
their health. Additionally, education about healthy lifestyles, government policies to reduce pollution, and
improved
healthcare
services are equally important in promoting
public
health.
In my opinion, while sports
facilities
play an important role in encouraging people to stay active, they should be part of a broader strategy that includes
improving
the environment,
healthcare
, and
public
awareness. Without addressing these other factors, the overall health of the population will not
improve
significantly.
In conclusion, increasing the number of sports
facilities
can contribute to better
public
health, but it is not a complete solution. A comprehensive approach that tackles various determinants of health,
such as
environmental issues and
healthcare
access
, is needed to ensure lasting improvements in
public
health.

Boost Your English Exam Score.
Start Practicing Today.