IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
26 Jul 24, 08:48
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The essay addresses the question but contains grammatical errors and lacks clarity in some parts. Improved coherence and more precise vocabulary usage would enhance the overall quality.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors31
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource16
Coherence & cohesion6
Task response5
Question
Globalisation has created numerous employment opportunities through outsourcing and multinational operations, yet it has also led to job displacement and insecurity for many workers.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of globalisation in terms of employment.
#Globalisation
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:287
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In today's world, Globalisation,undeniably, has
revolutionalized
the way we communicate .
while
some believe that it has brought about a wide array of opportunities through outsourcing and multinational companies, others argue that globalisation might take a toll on
job
replacement and insecurity for the
grass roots
.
This essay will discuss
both the pros and cons of globalisation regarding its employment.
On the one hand, globalisation empowers individuals to attain a
job
more
accessively
by outsourcing certain
operantions
to undeveloped countries where the workforce is lower,creating more employment
opportunites
.As a result, this
new
ground can lead to a more prosperous and prospective development of
new
industries and infrastructure in low-quality nations.Additionally, giving exposure to the competitive environment can drive innovation and
give
many insights into the conception of a worker,
hencE
boosting their productivity,
efficency
,to name but two.Employees may also benefit from the favourable working condition,which facilitates their ability to adapt to
new
strategies and stereotypes.
On the other hand, Industries in developed countries might advert their locations to countries those with lower workforce,which, in the long run, could run the risk of losing
jobs
in the homeland.Moreover, workers who
can not
afford the harsh working environment of the
new
job
given might end up losing all their will,undermining mental and physical health, exerting a strong impact on their daily life.For the sake or pursuing
new
labors
,operations have to cut down costs which remarkably decline the annual revenue required,
bring
about various consequences.
To sum up,
i
firmly believe that with the advent of globalisation, the authority has to strike a balance between outsourcing and multinational operations to optimize the
benifits
and minimize the
drawbacks