IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5

6.5
Overall Score
27 Mar 25, 12:52
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing challenges and solutions for maintaining cultural traditions, but could benefit from clearer organization and more varied vocabulary. Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing slightly hinder readability, though the essay remains coherent and cohesive overall.
Overall score6.5
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors20
Grammatical range and accuracy5
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4

Writing Task

#Culture
#Problem / Solution
In the fast-paced modern world, maintaining cultural traditions can be challenging, especially among younger generations who may feel disconnected from their cultural roots.
What challenges are faced in maintaining cultural traditions and how can these traditions be kept alive among younger generations?

Submitted Answer

Words292|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
In today's globalized society, many feel that they are losing touch with their cultural origins and are unable to continue their traditions. The main reason for this can be attributed to the growing interconnectedness of the
world
making it easier for external influences to penetrate cultural norms in different
communities
. That is why it is important to keep yourself educated on where you
came
from and consistently engage with the members of your
community
,.
Influence from other
cultures
does have its
benefits
but imposing ideas on another
community
can be detrimental. An example of this is the term "
white-washing
" which refers to the growing influence of Western or European
culture
which is mostly seen among popular musicians in Asia. Doing so promotes the idea that Western
culture
is
more superior than
Asian
culture
because its value is measured by its popularity. Moreover, society has placed so much value in what sells that governments construct infrastructure on indigenous lands destroying the homes of many cultural groups.
Paragraph 3 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
With all of these things considered, one must be astutely aware of who they are and where they
come
from to have a
deeper
understanding of why their
culture
is important. To know its importance means being able to uphold the values of your
culture
and in turn, consistently practicing its traditions. Doing so can further extend the richness of one's
culture
to the current generation and those to
come
.
In conclusion, globalization does not have to lead someone away from their roots if someone is truly willing to educate themselves on where they
come
from. Along with
community
engagement, the idea that other
cultures
are more superior can be eliminated and the sanctity of a
culture
can be kept alive for future generations.

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