IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
27 Jul 24, 11:30
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The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in problem analysis and solutions. Grammar and coherence need improvement, and there are several spelling and vocabulary errors that affect readability.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors38
Grammatical range and accuracy17
Lexical resource13
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Globalisation is often seen as a positive force for economic development but it also exacerbates income disparities between countries.
What problems arise from these disparities, and what solutions can be implemented to reduce them?
#Globalisation
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:341
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In today's era, with the
development
of numerous fields, globalisation has been an outstanding
pheneomenon
. It is undeniable that globalisation is omnipresent in the digital's era. Many people claim that this trend is a
postive
force for the
development
of
economic
while
others
said
globalisation may be detrimental when the income disparities between nations are raising.
To begin with, there are several reasons why it can contribute to
a
economic
development
. Notably, globalisation can foster nation's
economical
development
comprehensively. Globalisation has opened a door for international sponsors who find potential collaboration and effective strategy for
future
. Additionally, if a
country
adapt
these modernizing changes, it can boost the
economic
growth of
its
significantly. A particular example
for
this case is Vietnam has a commercial collaboration with the United State and many opportunities were offered to Vietnamese, from working to studying. Besides, the number of students who get to study abroad also bring a big move for
country
's future. For instance,
exhcange
students have places to show their value and devote to the
countries
in their favourable ways. Therefore, it has always been a key to
economic
growth and has been spreading remarkably during this time.
However, downsides of globalisation also should be
taken into consideration
.
Economic
downturn of one
country
would give rise to other
countries
through a phenomenon called Domino. For example, the downturn
occured
in Portugese has
lead
to
same
event
occured
in United State and Spainish. Moreover, people are unpleased about the disparities in income between poor
countries
and wealthy
countries
. For example, the globalisation has
gain
the
competetiveness
among commercial organisation
and
it is said to be unfair as the stronger can obtain all the property or power while the weaker
has
no opportunities to compete against the stronger one.
Consequently, political organisation should take action to reduce the real situation of income disparities such as enhancing welfare or salary for
employee
to attract talented people to stay and devote their abilities to the
country
would be a suitable in solving this problem.