IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5
7.5
Overall Score
11 Jul 24, 02:49
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Overall Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the question, providing a balanced discussion on social integration and isolation in urban settings. While the grammar and vocabulary are strong, the essay could benefit from more cohesive transitions and a clearer thesis statement.
| Overall score | 7.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 7.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 14 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 5 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Cities offer a melting pot of cultures and communities which can lead to greater social integration. Conversely, the fast-paced urban life can also result in social isolation for some individuals.
Discuss the extent to which urbanization leads to social integration or isolation.
#Urbanization
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:311
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
cities
is more desirable than ever. As a result of this, societies in these cities
are inevitably becoming a mix of different
cultures and communities. This essay discusses
that while some individuals may feel more isolated in these positions, there is overall a hugely positive impact on social integration.Firstly, expanding and developing
cities
has led to more diversity. Consequently, people
from different
backgrounds and cultures share their traditions. For example, I grew up in a Sudanese household in Bristol, and we had neighbours from both Cuba and England. My parents and neighbours were continuously sharing baked goods, recipes, and tips and tricks for childcare with each other; hence, they always felt a strong sense of belonging and community. This was also exciting for us as children; learning and understanding different
cultures, as well as tasting lots of delicious food!On the other hand, the fast-paced
city
life may unfortunately be a cause of loneliness for some people
. Life in these places tends to be quite busy, and people
can get wrapped up in their own lives. This can be an isolating feeling for those who live alone. Individuals who tend to be more reserved may find it difficult to socialize and meet new people
, especially if those people
are not from the same background as them. To combat this, it is important for people
to step out of their comfort zones; cities
are a great place to do this! They could, for example, join a book club, pottery class, or maybe go and say hello to their neighbours.To conclude,
cities
offer great opportunities for work as well as socializing with different
groups of people
. Whilst it may be lonely on occasion, cities
are the best place to be social and integrate with new and interesting people
.