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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
29 Mar 25, 21:26
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task by discussing both cultural exchange and homogenization, but lacks a clear thesis statement and contains grammatical errors. Vocabulary is varied, but coherence and cohesion could be improved with better logical flow and paragraph structure.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors145
Grammatical range and accuracy6
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion129
Task response4

Writing Task

#Globalisation
#Discussion
Globalisation promotes cultural exchange and interaction, which can enrich societies. However, it also raises concerns about cultural homogenization and the loss of traditional identities.
Discuss the impact of globalisation on cultural diversity, including both cultural exchange and homogenization.

Submitted Answer

Words318|Paragraphs75
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
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Thesis Statement
In recent years, there has been ongoing debate around
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whether,
cultural
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exchange and interaction are
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promoted
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by globalisation is enriching society. Critics argue that such increment led to
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cultural
homogenization and loss of ancient proofs. While the concern is understandable, a closer look reveals that internationalization offers valuable
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opportunities
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to live in
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diverse
world.
Furthermore,
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cross
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cultural
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helps to build strong
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network
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and fosters mutual understanding among
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people
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from different backgrounds.
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On the positive side, globalisation
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promotes
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cultural
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exchange, allowing
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people
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to experience and appreciate traditions, customs, and lifestyles that are different from their own. Through travel, international education, and digital
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platforms
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individuals get more
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exposure
to music, cinema, food and festivals of other parts of the world.
This not only
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will enhance
respect, but also
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promotes
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mutual
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understanding
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between
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people
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from different communities.
To add more, interaction aids to grab employment
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opportunities
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overseas.
One can build connections and share skills with each other.
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Artists
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like, Diljeet and Ed Sheeran, for
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example
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did collaboration in
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music
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video representing
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their
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own culture in film
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and
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eventually
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it was loved and supported by
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audience
.
While sharing things cross boarder we can enjoy and support our nation morally.
On the opposite side, "too much of anything is harmful" globalisation also poses the risk of
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cultural
homogenization.
As Western brands, values, and entertainment dominate
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global
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markets, smaller or indigenous cultures may struggle to preserve their unique identities.
Young
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people
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are often drawn to
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global
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trends, sometimes at the expense of their native languages, clothing, and traditions. This shift can lead to a gradual loss of
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cultural
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heritage, reducing the rich tapestry of
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global
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diversity to a more uniform
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cultural
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experience
In conclusion, while globalisation facilitates valuable
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cultural
exchange and helps build bridges across societies, it also presents challenges to maintaining
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cultural
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uniqueness.
To ensure a balanced outcome, efforts must be made to celebrate
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global
connectivity while actively preserving and
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promoting
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local traditions.

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