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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
28 Mar 25, 17:52
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task by discussing both cultural exchange and homogenization, but contains grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. Vocabulary is varied, but coherence and cohesion could be improved with better logical flow and paragraph structure.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors32
Grammatical range and accuracy12
Lexical resource13
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4

Writing Task

#Globalisation
#Discussion
Globalisation promotes cultural exchange and interaction, which can enrich societies. However, it also raises concerns about cultural homogenization and the loss of traditional identities.
Discuss the impact of globalisation on cultural diversity, including both cultural exchange and homogenization.

Submitted Answer

Words323|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
In recent years, there has been ongoing debate
aorund
whether
,
cultural
exchange and interaction is
promoted
by globalisation is enriching society. Critics argue that such increment lead to
cultural
homogenization and loss of ancient proofs. While the concern is understandable, a closer look reveals that internationalization offers valuable
opportunites
to live in
diverse
world. Furthermore,
cross
cultural
helps to build strong
network
and fosters mutual understanding among
people
from different backgrounds.
On the positive side, globalisation
promotes
cultural
exchange, allowing
people
to experience and appreciate traditions, customs, and lifestyles that are different from their own. Through travel, international education, and digital
platforms
individuals get more
expousre
to music, cinema, food and festivals of other parts of the world. This not only
will enhance
respect, but also
promotes
mutual
undertanding
between
people
from different communities. To add more, interaction aids to grab employment
opportunites
overseas. One can build connections and share skills with each other.
Artisit
like, Diljeet and Ed Sheeran, for
example
did collaboration in
music
video representing
thier
own culture in film
and
eventually
it was loved and supported by
audience
. That being said, while sharing things cross boarder we can enjoy and support our nation morally.
On the opposite side, "too much of anything is harmful" globalisation also poses the risk of
cultural
homogenization. As Western brands, values, and entertainment dominate
global
markets, smaller or indigenous cultures may struggle to preserve their unique identities. Young
people
, in particular, are often drawn to
global
trends, sometimes at the expense of their native languages, clothing, and traditions. This shift can lead to a gradual loss of
cultural
heritage, reducing the rich tapestry of
global
diversity to a more uniform
cultural
experience
In conclusion, while globalisation facilitates valuable
cultural
exchange and helps build bridges across societies, it also presents challenges to maintaining
cultural
uniqueness. To ensure a balanced outcome, efforts must be made to celebrate
global
connectivity while actively preserving and
promoting
local traditions.

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