IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
27 Sept 24, 06:30
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The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in analysis and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors, and coherence and cohesion could be improved with better transitions and structure.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors23
Grammatical range and accuracy7
Lexical resource9
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Globalisation is credited with raising living standards for many, but it has also been criticized for widening the gap between the rich and the poor.
Evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of globalisation in terms of social equity and living standards.
#Globalisation
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:349
Paragraphs:6
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In recent years, the world has imposed different ways to
intergrate
with each
other
globally. One of the ways of connecting with
other
nationals is through globalisation. The majority of the population is highly in favour of it, due to the various benefits it has generated socially and living standards. Some of the merits are: economic growth, and political relations.
In contrast, it is essential to acknowledge the disadvantages that
comes
with it and implement solutions to create a balance.
In terms of economic growth, it stimulates the
countries's
life-style, trade and investments internationally. It is clear that with a stable economy, people have better access to basic human
neccessities
like health care, education and diet. If consumers can afford these
services
the trade game levels up, leading to excess profits for businesses. This expands their trading routes with international
markets
making a significant earning. Global exchange minimise the chances of inflation, due to sufficient supply of imports in the country meeting the demand. In addition, a survey conducted in Australia in 2023 reports that domestic violence cases significantly decreases approximately by 75% when families are financially stable. This is beneficial to a society.
Another gain is the political relationships formed through globalisation. Republics make combined
decision making
on climate change, pricing and border control. For instance, America is ranked the
super power
and has managed to
mantain
and negotiate peace in the Middle-East over the past years. This demonstrates the
hierachy
of power internationally .
While on the
other
hand, globalisation can lead to culture erosion, because of global brands and media dominance . This can lead to external influences
in
how a society behaves and how it visions its norms and values. This can be very damaging as it creates identity loss in a group of people when there is more than one standard imposed on
the ,
whilst contradicting the
other
.
In conclusion, it can be analysed that globalisation contributes a vast essential importance to society , however it is crucial to address the issues that comes with it and create a reasonable balance that benefits everyone.

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