IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
21 Jun 24, 13:56
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the topic but lacks depth in discussing the importance of work-life balance and how individuals can achieve it. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but could be more varied and precise.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 23 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 2 | |
| Lexical resource | 12 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Maintaining a balance between work and personal life is crucial for the well-being of employees, which in turn can benefit the organization.
Why is work-life balance important, and how can individuals achieve it?
#Work
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:346
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
overworking
has become a subject that receives a large amount
of attention from around the world. It appears to be common that workers
tend to struggle with separating their work
from other aspects of their lives
. The aim of this essay is to elucidate the origin of this phenomenon and to offer some practical remedies.To commence with, there may be several explanations as to why there are such a large
amount
of labourers
suffering from overworking
. First of all, this is due to the fact that
in recent years
, the living expense in many parts of the world has experienced a tremendous proliferation, resulting in the
situation
of
labourers
having to participate in
overtime
shifts
solely for the purpose of being able to purchase necessities such as food, accommodation, healthcare and so on.
As a consequence, the amount
of time that workers
possess to spend on the other aspects of their lives
is significantly alleviated. In addition, corporations may sometimes deliberately increase the working hours themselves and
they may even force their employees to comply with such policies with threats of being laid off.As a result, a number of measures have been presented in the hope of successfully addressing this matter. Firstly, the authority should promulgate decrees that prohibit the act of forcefully elevating working hours in associations. This can help
labourers
to feel more secure and protected when being compelled to overtime
shifts
, thus allowing them to better balance their work
life
. Additionally, it may be advisable for individuals to control their finance more wisely in order to avoid situations
where it is necessary for them to participate in extra shifts
. To illustrate, one can minimize their expenditure by purchasing second-hand or less expensive products.In conclusion, it is evidenced that there are several prominent elements contributing to the issue of
overworking
, for example, workers
' needs to get by or increasing work
demands. Nevertheless, the enactment of laws regarding the prohibition of forceful overtime
shifts
by the government and reasonable spending could greatly ameliorate this situation
.