IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
05 Aug 24, 18:02
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The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence in its arguments. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors affecting readability and overall effectiveness.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 29 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7 | |
| Lexical resource | 12 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
The criminal justice system often treats youth offenders differently from adults, based on the belief in their potential for rehabilitation.
Discuss whether the different treatments of youth and adult offenders in the criminal justice system are justified.
#Criminal Justice
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:345
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
are
rising such as gang fights, stealing,vandalism and bullying among youngsters and adults
. It is believe
, that by putting them in rehabilitation is better as the possibility to renew their lives compared to adults
. However
, many people believe that the justice sytem
is not equal for adult
and youth offenders
due to the variations of punishments.One of the primary benefits of leniency to teenagers compared to
adults
are the chances of making them reflect of their wrong actions. The reason for this, is most country, strongly advocate for the youth`s
protection`s
and welfare. They believe that some youngsters came from a bad family who nurtured them to be one of the individuals who are considered no hope in the society thus, these less
privelege
youth deserves second chances and give them light punishment would
hep
them
change
.
However
, the increasing of offenders
among youth has raised concerns by many people. There were cases that they often times go in and out of rehabilitation but
there were still no further developments to these repeater offenders
.As for the
adult
offenders
, once they committed an act against the law, it is expected for them to go through a long trials before they are able to free themselves. But in some common cases, they have to pay the fine, but the worst scenario may be a life imprisonment. For instance, in Singapore, If an adolescent stole
a money
, he or she might instantly go for counselling or rehabilitation
however
for an
adult
, there will be no room for this, he/ she might go immediately to jail additionally, he has to pay a large sum of money.
Moreover, this lead to the adult
offenders
of the thought of equal treatment by the authority.In conclusion, while the justice
sytem
offering positive hopes to youth offenders
, it also brings some negative well being
to the adults
. By balancing and reviewing the law every
offenders
will have a chance to change themselves and be a better citizen in the society.