IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
24 Jul 24, 17:03
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The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. The coherence and cohesion are adequate, but the vocabulary usage is somewhat limited and repetitive.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors29
Grammatical range and accuracy12
Lexical resource9
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response5
Question
Advancements in technology have transformed various aspects of sports, from performance analysis to equipment design.
How has technology influenced sports, and does it affect the fairness of competitions?
#Sport
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:266
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In recent years, the advanced
technology
has
infuenced
many
aspects
of sports, such as sport
equipments
and performance
analysis
.
This essay will discuss
the way
technology
influences sports and its positive effect on fairness in competitions.
First of all,
technology
has affect sports in many ways. In other words, various
aspects
of sport today need the assistance of modern
equipments
like time
measure
machines used in swimming or marathon or advanced cameras to record the athlete's performance. Time measure machines allow the
jugdes
to rate the performance of a participant precisely. Besides that, a more modern camera can easily capture even the smallest action of a competitor, which makes the
analysis
step become easier. Moreover, the integration of
technology
in such an enormous global sport event like the Olympic
tournaments has
improved the quality of the
competions
in many
aspects
, from preparing stage to consulting and rewarding. Therefore, the development of
technology
especially in
analysis
area
would help sport competitions occur smoothly and effectively.
Secondly,
technology
can also have positive impact on the fairness of competitions. To explain this, there has been an initiation of
VAR
system, which is used widely in football. By capturing and slow-motion the action of a footballer, this system helps referees to make precise decision in arguing
circumstance
. As a result, this can firmly increase the fairness of a football match.
In conclusion,
technology
has various ways of affecting some
aspects
of sports, including the development of
equipments
and
analysis
system. All of the positive effects of
technology
allows
sports to be more successful and
prospectious
in the future.