IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
10 Sept 24, 11:28
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence in some parts. Grammar and vocabulary usage are adequate but could be improved for better readability and precision.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors32
Grammatical range and accuracy13
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion9
Task response4
Question
The extent to which family should be involved in personal decision-making is often contested, particularly when it concerns individual freedom.
Do you agree or disagree that families should have a significant say in personal decisions of their adult members?
#Family
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:336
Paragraphs:12
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
In recent years, roles played by
family
in
individuals
lives have significantly changed. In modern
families
relatives tend to have a less say in
decision making
than in traditional
families
.
Most homes acknowledge the importance of
making
personal decisions detrimental to one's
future, therefore
they try to avoid any regrets for their adult members in the long run.
Missing Linking Devices
I personally agree, parents should be involved in
making
life choices for their children.
One of the detrimental reasons is, when kids get to the age of freedom. There is an urge to try new things, some of them can be harmful if not managed properly. For
example
most boys and girls, when they turn eighteen years they want to move out of their
family
home. Mostly because they want freedom, which is not a bad thing
but
the scary part is what they will do with the liberty, especially without any restrictions or supervision.
Missing Linking Devices
This may lead to
a various issues
like drug abuse, prostitution and cohabitation which is against the majority of community's norms and values.
Missing Linking Devices
With these stated concerns, it is more meaningful that elders and extended members help these children when
making
decisions.
Missing Linking Devices
After all it takes a village to raise a child.
However, some people might argue that relatives should participate in personal judgments of their older kids.
Missing Linking Devices
Reason being, it is a moment when they get to exercise their independence and be able to contribute to the world without anyone directly influencing them.
In addition, this is the time when
the
get to be adults
themselves otherwise
they will never stop being their
parents
kids , therefore
it is crucial they respect the boundary that separates them from childhood.
Overall, I can contest that
is
relevant to have relatives help individuals
making
choices but to a certain extent. A balance can be created as to what and when should
family
be deciding.
In conclusion, we all need perspectives of people who have experienced life situations
but
a line should be drawn.

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