IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
11 Aug 24, 12:40
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The essay addresses the question and provides a balanced view of both city and countryside living. However, it contains several grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement, which affects coherence and task achievement.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors32
Grammatical range and accuracy14
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?
#Family
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:330
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In recent years, many parents
has
started to consider a place for their
children
to live. Many people believe that bringing up the
children
to
urban
area
has some great
benefits
while others
argued
that in the rural
area
is more appropriate. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages, which will be explored in this essay.
One of the primary
advantage
of staying in the urban
area
is the quality of education given
for
the students. Since they hired well-trained teachers,
children
will
learn
advance topics with
variety
of resources to
learn
from. Because of this, they will gain valuable knowledge and experience during their studies. However, the main challenge of living in the city would be the high cost of living considering the good education it provides, high tuition
fees
for example, are not
exemptable
. Even if in the public schools, requirements such as field trips, books, and other
extra curricular
activities are
cumpolsury
. Therefore, parents may become overwhelmed of the numerous expenses.
On the one hand, the greatest benefit of growing up in the rural
area
is that
children
will enjoy a clean environment such as fresh air, less noise pollution and minimal rubbish around. It has been proven that the more
children
exposed to this lifestyle, the better their well-being will be. However, the disadvantage
for
this would prompt some ignorance to the
liitle
ones, since their materials are limited, their capability to
learn
a new trend in this world would be very low. Thus, it may lead to low capacity of
learning
.
In conclusion, a home in the city offers convenience and access to a wider range of education it also presents challenges, including high cost of living like tuition fees. While there are also great benefits
staying
in
countryside
like a valuable good environment, it may also
caused
lack of resources for studying.
Personlly
, It is essential for
individual
to accept the pros and cons and think for the better of their
children
.