IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
18 Jul 24, 13:36
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The essay addresses the question but lacks a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. Grammar and vocabulary need improvement, and the essay should be more coherent and cohesive with better-developed ideas and examples.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors24
Grammatical range and accuracy3
Lexical resource12
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response5
Question
Governments around the world may choose to invest heavily in sports for various reasons, including promoting national unity and improving public health.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of high governmental investment in sports?
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:153
Paragraphs:2
Word Count Requirement
Paragraph Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In recent years, governments across the globe have increasingly invested significant resources in sports
as a means to achieve
socIAL
benefits, primarily
promoting
national unity and improving public health. While this strategy offers several advantages, it also presents certain drawbacks that
needs
careful consideration.
To begin with, sports have emerged as a powerful tool for
promoting
national unity. By
promoting
teamwork, sports can connect multiple
culturul
and social
diversites
within a nation, fostering a sense of common identity and pride among the citizens. For
instannce
, a huge sporting event like
olympics
help
nations to showcase their unity among different
athelets
and audience from different culture, languages spoken, tradition and their respective sports to the whole world.
Promoting
sports from early age could be a smart and effective way of improving one's health. Sports helps us to become fit both physically and mentally. To be mentally and physically fit is everyone's
neccesity
.