IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
14 Jul 24, 11:51
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in analysis and critical thinking. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but could be more varied and precise, and coherence and cohesion need improvement for better readability.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 21 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4 | |
| Lexical resource | 9 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Globalisation has been a powerful force in driving economic growth worldwide, yet it also presents several economic risks for participating countries.
Evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of globalisation on the economies of countries.
#Globalisation
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:357
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
world
's economic development
. It is seen that money, workforce, and intelligible elites all over the world
can collaborate to promote economic growth. However, globalisation also incurs a lot of problems in the personal, social and worldwide perspective. In this essay, I will attempt to evaluate
globalisation's positive sides and drawbacks and provide my opinion.It is obvious that the whole
world
's economy
is driven by globalization because of its positive influence on satisfying various market's needs and enhancing people
's income. On the one hand, opportunities to trade their products throughout the world
are provided to the manufacturers in the era of globalization. For example, tech behemoths such as Apple and Microsoft have built exclusive stores in all major cities in the world
to sell their cutting-edge electronic products. The development
of global transportation allows them to transmit their products around the world
. On the other hand, People
can have more access to global career opportunities with the development
of globalization. In the era of globalization, people
who aspire to chase higher salaries and better life quality can choose to work in a more developed country
. Despite these advantages, the drainage of workforce in the underdeveloped
countries
and the leading role of giant companies also cause negative effects on the world
economy
, especially the underdeveloped
countries
.However, Globalization may not be a good thing for the
underdeveloped
countries
. Firstly, major companies in the developed country
may cause detrimental effects on the local enterprises in developing
countries
, for they have more mature manufacturing technology and lower prices than the local companies. For developing
countries
, it makes it difficult for them to develop
a domestic economy
and build an individual industry system. Secondly, Globalization may cause brain drain in developing
countries
. In the era of globalisation, Workforce
and elites in underdeveloped
countries
may be attracted to higher income status and better life quality in developed
countries
, which would lead to an insufficient workforce in developing
countries
.In conclusion, the
development
of globalization has deeply transformed people
's lifestyle and enhanced world
economy
.