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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
11 Apr 25, 12:21
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in idea development and contains several grammatical errors. Improved coherence and a more varied vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors39
Grammatical range and accuracy15
Lexical resource14
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response5

Writing Task

#Development
#Discussion
Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Submitted Answer

Words203|Paragraphs5
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Word Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
In recent
year
, the shift from traditional reading
book
to
use
modern
technology has sparked the
childern
and has created a signification issue in society where some
people
think
it's
a positive trend whereas others think
it's
a problem.
Paragraph 2 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Using of the smartphone, tablet, laptop
gives
access to children to different apps and website where they can develop new skills and learning materials, which helps them to develop their own skills and knowledge.
Moreover, children can get too attracted to this
technology
which can also harm them, going through mental health, having too much of screen time ,
whic
can lead to eye
problem
, having lack of sleep, interacting with unwanted websites.
However, some
people
says
that reading
books
can be more
benefical
as you will
learning
new language and spelling at the same time, reading to fiction
books
.
People
won't
be
distract
by other things while reading a
book
and have a clear
understanding
whereas
in
smartphone
people
can
be disturb
very easily
by other
app
or
website
.
In my opinion, while modern technology offers undeniable advantage to the
people
, should not complete replace the
tradional
book
reading. Both ways help
childern
to well-rounded set of skills and habits.

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