IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
02 Jul 24, 20:58
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in analysis and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but could be improved for better clarity and precision.
Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors25
Grammatical range and accuracy5
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4
Question
Juvenile justice systems worldwide vary in their approach to handling young offenders, with debates on their effectiveness continually emerging.
Discuss the effectiveness of juvenile justice systems and explore alternative strategies for rehabilitating young offenders.
#Youth Crime
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:318
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In recent times, there has been an ongoing debate regarding the effectiveness of the juvenile
system
around the globe. In many countries,
law
enforcement handles young
offenders
by placing them in special prisons under the safety and supervision of experienced officers.
However
, many
people
believe that this approach is outdated, and there are better options,
such as
community service. This essay will further elaborate on the efficacy of both of these
methods
in rehabilitating underage lawbreakers.
To begin with, the traditional juvenile
system
is effective in removing
offenders
from
society
to protect innocent
children
and reconstruct them. A single
child
can have a huge influence on others, so it is important to remove any anti-social element to ensure the safety of the rest of
children
. Moreover, no parent wants their
children
to spend time with the potential
law
breakers
, thus the conventional
system
to
punish
the
youth
offenders
is the considered the best
method
. In addition to this, current
laws
ensure that the
youth
in prison are completely protected and emerge as a completely rehabilitated individuals who
is
not a threat to the
society
.
However
, as the
society
has progressed, experts believe in the importance of rehabilitating
youth
through community service. Many
people
urge that imparting moral values and civic sense plays a significant role in reshaping young lawbreakers. Therefore, sentencing them to serve
people
in
society
,
such as
helping the elderly, volunteering in soup kitchens, and managing emergency shelters, helps them connect with
people
emotionally on a human level. Therefore, this
method
is much better than the traditional
system
, as it aids two purposes:
communty
service and the reconditioning the
youth
offenders
.
To conclude, the conventional
system
is a great
method
to remove anti-social
people
from the public places ,
such as
schools, and parks.
However
, there are alternative
methods
that are much better in solving and
redevoloping
children
who are in conflict with the
law
.

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