IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
04 Jul 24, 19:50
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question and provides a clear opinion, but it contains several grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Vocabulary usage is adequate but could be more varied, and the development of ideas could be more logically structured.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 32 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 11 | |
| Lexical resource | 14 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 3 |
Question
There is a debate over whether nations should primarily rely on local development initiatives or seek substantial international aid.
Do you agree or disagree that nations should rely more on local initiatives than on international aid for development?
#Development
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:303
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
In recent times, there has been an ongoing debate over whether
nations
should prioritize local
initiatives over international
aids
for development
. While both approaches have their merits, nations
should focus on development
through domestic
programs and financial support
rather than depending on foreign assistance. However
, some countries have to rely on international
aid
, as they might not possess the required resources to foster growth.To begin with,
local
programs and plans help in strengthening domestic
communities, along with increasing self-reliance. When a government priortizes
development
through their
own plans and funds, it invest
heavly
in supporting small business, thus increasing their capacity to contribute toward economic growth. In addition to this, as small and medium businesses expand their operations through domestic
initiatives, a
nations
starts to become independent, as it no longer depend on other countries to fulfill
their needs and demands. As a result, the foreign interference and control decreases, and authorities have more power and control over development
trajectory. By investing in native innovations, governments can escalate their ownerships, along with providing plans and monetary support
to micro businesses and companies.However
, international
aids
plays a crucial in providing support
to nations
that lack capacity
to support themselves. For instances
, Ukraine is constantly receiving military and financial aid
from United States
of America and Canada to help its citizens and back the infrastruture
. If there was no external support
, Ukraine would have collapsed long
time ago. Additionally, this approach also foster
international
unity and peace, as cordination
and understanding is increased.To conclude,
nations
should priortize
local
development
as the foundation of sustainable progress. By doing so, country
can build self-reliance and promote local
innovation. However
, authorities need to analysis
the needs and resources before planning because sometimes domestic
infrastructure and economy may not be able to support progress.