IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7

IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
Overall Score
20 Jul 24, 21:15
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The essay addresses the economic challenges and potential solutions for space missions effectively, with good coherence and cohesion. However, there are some grammatical errors and minor issues with vocabulary usage that prevent it from achieving a higher score.

Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy7.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors19
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3
Question
The high cost of space missions is a major barrier to more frequent and extended space exploration activities.
What are the economic challenges of conducting space missions, and how can space travel be made more affordable?
#Space Exploration
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:US English
Words:349
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
In recent times, the substantial
cost
of
space
missions has emerged as a barrier for every
space
agency, hindering their ability to continue explorations in our galaxy. The salient contributors to the rising expenses are the
cost
of
materials
and
technologies
essential for interstellar activities. These challenges can be addressed by different organization through pooling their resources and working together for the greater good. This essay will further elaborate on these barriers and provide possible solutions.
To begin with, the core
materials
and
technologies
necessary for shuttles and rockets are expensive. The modern rockets use some of the rarest earth elements, such as uranium and cobalt, which are
extermly
hard
to acquire, hence increasing the
cost
of construction. For instance, the outer heat shell of NASA rockets is made solely from titanium, and this
material
cannot be replaced by
ony
other. In addition to this, the essential gadgets and
technologies
for cosmos exploration, such as GPS and oxygen support systems, are massively sensitive and require very high accuracy standards. Some of these
requirments
are met through contracted companies, which charge enormous amounts to meet the
criterias
. Therefore, the
cost
of utilizing rare earth
materials
and the
contractors
fees are the primary economic challenges that authorities have to face.
To address these issues, the
space
agencies from around the world should collaborate and take advantage of economies of scale. In modern history, a few young
space
agencies have emerged that still lack fundamental knowledge about the missions. They are still at the early stages and must spend a large portion of their national budgets to reach the level of NASA and Russian
space
corporation. However, rather than working alone, the countries around the world can share the information and knowledge they have and pool their resources into a collaborated effort.
Moroever
, nations with significant reserves of elements like cobalt and titanium could trade these for advance galactic knowledge.
To conclude, conducting
space
missions is an expensive activity due to the high
costs
of
materials
and
technologies
. However, a unified global effort could address this issue and benefit humanity more effectively