IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
24 Jul 24, 16:31
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in argumentation and has several grammatical errors. Coherence and cohesion are maintained, but transitions could be smoother. Vocabulary is adequate but not varied enough.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 12 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 3 | |
| Lexical resource | 2 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and opine.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:269
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
child
's education, while others do not support this idea. I would argue that sports contests have pros and cons. This essay will examine the argument.First and foremost, sports play a crucial role contributing in to the educational system. Football league, for instance, in the USA high school, government have placed sport time, twice per week as they believe that physical activities can improve students' physical health and mental resilience. Due to numerous activities have been involved during the training session. Therefore, they can learn how to improve their health to be better, self-control, and well-being while they are playing sports.
On the other hand, there is the contrasting idea that physical games can have negative impacts on their
children
's studies. In some cases, children
cannot control their feelings, while they are falling into a particular competition. This, in turn, diminishes the academic pursuit. Some end up
not going to school since they are embarrassed by their classmates due to their failure. Furthermore, those who aim to get the winner will fall apart and lead to depression. Consequently, some parents do not allow their kids to play sports, and focus only studies
.In conclusion, sports competitions have pros and cons. Although there are several negative aspects, such as they will be reducing study motivation, and exacerbating mental issues, I firmly believe that the positive impact of sports can help
children
to have health stronger and psychological resilience.