IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
24 Jul 24, 16:15
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The essay addresses the question but contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, but the development of ideas and vocabulary usage need improvement for a higher band score.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 32 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 13 | |
| Lexical resource | 11 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and opine.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:283
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
sport
competition
are among equiped
in the high school
curriculum. There is a growing belief that competitive sports enage
in providing a profound impact on the child
's education, while others are not supported
this
idea. I would argue that sport
contest
in school
has
pros and cons. This essay will examine the argument.First and foremost, sports play a crucial role contributing in the educational system. Football league, for instance, in the USA high
school
, government have placed sport time, twice per week because
they believe that physical activities can improve children
's physical health and mental resilience. Due to numerous activities have been involved during the training session. Therefore, Children
can learn how to exacerbate their health to be better, self-control, and well-being while they are playing sports.On the other hand, there is the contrast idea about sport
competition
can cause a nagetive
impact on their children
studies. In some cases, children
cannot control their feeling, while they were falling in a particular competition
. This, in turns, diminishing the academic persuit
. Some end up
not going to school
because
they are embarrassing from their classmates due to their failure. Furthermore, those who aim to get the winner will be falling
apart and leading
to the depression. Because
of these reasons, some parents are not allowed
their kids to play sport during the school
, and focusing only study
.In conclusion, sports
competitions
carry out pros and cons. Although there are some nagetive
aspects, such as they will be reducing the study motivation, and possessing mental issues, I firmly believe that the postivie
impact of sports can help children
enable to have health stronger and psychologically resilience.