IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
24 Jul 24, 16:15
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The essay addresses the question but contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, but the development of ideas and vocabulary usage need improvement for a higher band score.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors32
Grammatical range and accuracy13
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and opine.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:US English
Words:283
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In recent times,
sport
competition
are among
equiped
in the high
school
curriculum. There is a growing belief that competitive sports
enage
in providing a profound impact on the
child
's education, while others are not
supported
this
idea. I would argue that
sport
contest
in
school
has
pros and cons. This essay will examine the argument.
First and foremost, sports play a crucial role contributing in the educational system. Football league, for instance, in the USA high
school
, government have placed sport time, twice per week
because
they believe that physical activities can improve
children
's physical health and mental resilience. Due to numerous activities have been involved during the training session. Therefore,
Children
can learn how to exacerbate their health to be better, self-control, and well-being while they are playing sports.
On the other hand, there is the contrast idea about sport
competition
can cause a
nagetive
impact on their
children
studies. In some cases,
children
cannot control their feeling, while they were falling in a particular
competition
. This, in turns, diminishing the academic
persuit
. Some
end up
not going to
school
because
they are embarrassing from their classmates due to their failure. Furthermore, those who aim to get the winner will
be falling
apart and
leading
to the depression.
Because
of these reasons, some parents are not
allowed
their kids to play sport during the
school
, and focusing only
study
.
In conclusion, sports
competitions
carry out pros and cons. Although there are some
nagetive
aspects, such as they will be reducing the study motivation, and possessing mental issues, I firmly believe that the
postivie
impact of sports can help
children
enable to have health stronger and psychologically resilience.

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