IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
22 Aug 24, 11:29
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question and provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of globalization for businesses. However, there are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect readability and coherence. The essay could benefit from clearer organization and more precise vocabulary.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 32 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 17 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Globalization allows businesses to access international markets and talent, but it also brings about competition and potential job losses in certain sectors.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of globalization for businesses. Do the benefits outweigh the challenges?
#Business & Money
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:343
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In recent times, numerous
countries
have
more
opportunity to strengthen their
markets
due to businesses in such
countries
are allowed to access
international
markets
and
talent
, while others feel that this
development
also carries negative impact to society regarding an increase rivals and future
job
losses in particular sectors.
The essay will examine both benefits
and drawbacks of this development
and I would argue that the potential benefits
outweigh the challenges.On the one hand, one of the main challenges for having access to
international
market
and talent
, among which is human workforce. More
and more
individuals face the problem of job
losses competative
market
and increasing
the qualifications in order to apply jobs
. Therefore, this increasing
trend is restricted jobseeks
to get jobs
. According to a research
conducted by the Business university in the USA, over 40% of employees have lose
their current jobs
since more
competitions in the job
market
.Despite this concern, two significant
benefits
of having access to internal market
and talent
may emerge. Firstly, one of the predominent
benefits
is to increase
nation's economy. This is because the benefits
of globalization can unlock more
opportunities for local products to expand their markets
to foreign markets
. For instance, nowadays
Cambodia participates in international
trade which offer them a potisive
outcome in terms of GDP. Consequently, this development
ameliorates both individuality and society. Another distinguished benefit
is that have attracted more
foreign investors. Due to the fact that potential investors will be growth their businesses in our countries
, this also
increase
the opportunity for skilled professionals to receive competative
salaries. For example, multinational firms often offer high salary than the local companis
. As a result, employees can enhance their personal and professional lives.In
conclution
, although accessing to
international
market
and
talent
contains potential challenges
regarding to
job
losses, the
benefits
of this
development
also have invaluable outcomes in terms of nation's economy and foreign investors and I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Hence, all countries
should be encouraged to access to the globalization in the future.