IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
24 Jul 24, 19:43
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence in some parts. Grammar and vocabulary usage are adequate but could be improved for better readability and precision.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 18 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4 | |
| Lexical resource | 7 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Changing jobs frequently can be seen as a way to gain diverse experiences and skills, but it might also be perceived negatively by potential employers.
Why do people change jobs frequently, and how can this affect their career?
#Work
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:272
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
times
, it is argued
that maintaining the same job
for the entire of their life is crucial, while others believe that individuals should seek different professions after a certain period of time
. This essay examines both perspectives, as well as
I argue
that it is possible to change to other jobs
after some period of time
.First and foremost, proponents of keeping their same
careers, thus
they will not get any problematic consequences from
those challenges. For example, a majority of employees, nowadays, in Japan still work the same job
until their retirement. Due to an increasing requirement for professional
qualifications, which will diminish their encouragement to apply for a new job
in other companies
. As a result, numerous people tend to stick with their current companies
so they don't
lose their employment.On the other hand, I would
argue
that undertaking risks to adjust their jobs
after several periods of time
, allowing people to access a wide range of valuable benefits, such as sustainable incomes, and enhancing their professional
backgrounds. For instance, changing from a local company
to a multinational company
can enable a reasonable salary, where individuals improve their both personal and professional
lives. Furthermore, in terms of raising their professional
backgrounds, is the rival source that is able to unlock their opportunities to jump up to a higher position in the next company
that they aim to.In conclusion, although changing employment may offer the risk of unemployment, I
argue
that individuals should use their capability to unlock their potential opportunities, including sustainable wages, personal and professional
growth, as well as the advancement of professional
backgrounds.